Dictionaries of 2030 (Nerf Homosexuality!)
Posted by Rob Herman at May 14th, 2006
Today, I present to you some dictionary entries from the year 2030, as brought to you by my fellow players of Warcraft 3 and World of Warcraft:
gay adj. Powerful, overwhelming, or devastating, as per a weapon. Until the development of the hyperspace death modulator, the hydrogen bomb was the gayest weapon known to mankind.
You see, whenever I someone execute a cunning or powerful strategy, some hapless recipient inevitably calls it “gay” as they proceed to lose. It seems like only a matter of time until “gay” fully takes on the meaning of “very strong.”
jew n. One who employs gay tactics. Alexander the Great is considered one of history’s greatest jews.
…and I have no idea why people throw “jew” around as an insult. (No, it’s never uppercased.) I’ve never heard it used in real life, but for some reason it’s all over the battle.net. I think it’s logical that it will follow “gay” from insult to compliment.
From the World of Warcraft, a slightly less intellectually desolate land:
nerf v. To weaken or reduce in potency. Saudi’s Arabia’s economic power was severely nerfed when a way to synthesize petroleum from dandelions was discovered. Also n. a change that has this effect.
This term didn’t originate with WoW, but that’s where I encounter it most. The etymology of this term is “to make soft or harmless, like a Nerf weapon.” The antonym is buff: Prohibition was a major buff for organized crime because it increased their potential revenue.
noob: n. An incompetent person. “My opponent is sorely mistaken. Only a complete noob would believe that this crisis can be resolved through force alone.” Innumerable spellings exist, but only this one translates into speech well enough to stand the test of time.
noob: alternate spellings newb, newbie, nob
jew is used in wow? I don’t really ever see that in CoH, although I know they’ll ban players pretty quick for racial slurs, so that could be why.
A “modernized” year-2030 version of The Art Of War would really be pretty horrible to read.
“If your enemy is buff at all points, be prepared for him. If he is a gay jew, evade him. If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be nerf, that he may grow arrogant.”
Shudder.
DrObviousSo: No, you don’t get many racial slurs in WoW, which has an older playerbase and a harassment policy. This is by contrast to Warcraft 3–I get the feeling that WC3 contains a much higher percentage of ignorant 15-17-olds.
I also see nub and n00b a lot.
Gary: Awesome.